Sex, Cigarettes and Alcohol

They cost money and burn them up in smoke,

Whether they're a note or a coin it is beyond a joke;

But the butt is a butter and the butt is not butter,

So one but was a cigarette and the other but not a butt but butter.

So the but is in oink and the paper and the tobacco a cigarette,

Because the note will buy a packet and the coin is the change;

But smokers stick to the one brand and change one hand to arrange,

So if the smoke butts the paper with the ash burning onto a coin.

It hurts the money like hell and if the cigarette paper a note,

So this poem about cigarettes is about burning up a boat;

You had better not go out on the water cause you'll go up in smoke,

So you are much better off having a drink of water cause alcohol is a big joke.

We know it is nice to have a drink and a smoke because it makes money,

But people are stupid and it's gives them cancer because food is honey,

And the butter is better for cooking then spreading on bed,

Like having sex with a bedspread while and accident and you're dead.

So if you have sex and alcohol and a smoke don't drive in bed,

Because the house will burn up by a smash of cash in your head;

Because drink drivers smoke in cars and run into your house instead,

And it's no good innocent people working hard all their lives to be dead.

So if the stanzas and paragraphs are mixed up in your head,

You're probably a smoker and drinker having sex and I'm read;

And if you're a chef and cook with butter and alcohol and have sex,

The second coming could be a free engine or policeman or ambulance in secs.

Signed,

The Three or Four